Scene 1:

Badol doesn’t wait for the curd-seller like an innocent. So what if she isn’t able to go to school due to her illness? When her sisters had left for school, she would walk past the office building, through the banks of Ichhamati river to reach the old building from the British era, the sight of which would evoke a sense of fear in her. Often, she would peep in through the large windows of the building to look for the departed spirits in it. She had heard that the British would bring in the local people and murder them in this house. At other times, she would sit by the pond watching the fishes playing in the water, till the end of the day. On the way back, she would carry tadpoles on Taro leaves and put them in glass jars only to release them once they grew into frogs. Once she was almost drowned in the whirlpool of the river while taking a boat ride with some mischievous friends – something that her mother never came to know. (In Badol’s own words: ‘My early life was very wayward, you know!’)

Scene 2:

Through the forbidden way – jumping the wall, crossing a snake-infested jungle stretch and trampling over Catkins, was how Badol entered the classroom. The little kids would follow-suit and would often get caught. So, at the end of school Badol would be made to stand on a high dais for the trial of her mischiefs. Once, she was fined four-anas (25 Paise). She had to get the money from her mother to save her skin!

Scene 3:

Her poet aunt (Mahmuda Khatun Siddique) named her ‘Badol’(cloud in Bangla). Aunt would often bring in a photographer and create a pandemonium in the house. She loved being photographed and along with it was organised, single & group portrait sessions of the entire family! That was how Badol first got attracted to the camera! She was also in awe of the Box Cameras covered with black cloth.

Scene 4:

A sari-clad woman stands upright with a Box Camera in front of the Victoria Memorial taking photographs of two Kabuliwalas. As if, Minihas reunited with Kabuliwala in her grown-up age. Rabindranath Tagore’s short-story Kabuliwala had had a special place in her mind right from her girly-days. That was the first photograph taken by her. Later, her sister brought her a Rolliecord from overseas. And then, from the ‘Begum’ publication to Satyajit Ray’s world… A story that everyone knows.

Scene 5:

An assignment from ‘Chitrali’ magazine. Ray is in his study-room on the third floor. Badol stands near the doorway at the stipulated time. She has taken up the challenge from the editor and come to interview Satyajit Ray. Looking at Ray immersed in his work in the study-room, Badal thought to herself: ‘I am not capable of interviewing a person of this stature!’. Just as she was preparing to leave Ray noticed her and called: “Who’s there? Please come in! Sit. What do you want to know about me?” Badol gathered her wits and started talking about Ray’s new film. Working with Satyajit Ray changed the course of her life. In her words: ‘it was an eye-opener’. She was permitted to tread into places where no one else was allowed. This proximity with Ray made herself-confident, resolute and inspired her to work outstandingly throughout her life.

In the midst of such a fiction, float intermittently, still-images by Sayeeda Khanam. From the friend at Rooplal House to the Santhal woman, from Ustad Alauddin Khan to Kabi Nazrul, from Armstrong to Queen Elizabeth… the parade of women freedom-fighters with riffles on their shoulders… And then the presence of Sayeeda Khanam alias Badol on the screen with her melodious, pristine and childish giggle accompanied by our incidental conversations.

This was how my documentary on Sayeeda Khanam was meant to begin.

But, instead of the flashback to the banks of the Ichhamati river, I rush to the burial ground in Banani! 18 th August, 2020!!! There’s a light drizzle, I must pay my last respects to Apa. I ran, with my Mother and Covid along with me. Four men had laid
her down and were adjusting the soil. A few from the third gender were curious to know whether it was old-age or Corona?

Rana-Apa was standing solitarily. I took her hand firmly in mine. Rontu was there, like a person who had lost everything, a destitute, tears flowing unstoppably through his eyes. I plucked some Pink Periwinkle (Nayantara) flowers from the tree of a nearby grave and placed them beside Apa’s collar. Rana-Apa placed a few White Ginger Lily (Dolon Chapa) flowers on Apa’s chest with great care. Such an unceremonious, lonely farewell in a country of billions!

The newspapers will be spilling-over with news of the demise of the first female photographer of Bangladesh. That Sayeeda Khanam is an institution in herself, is known to everyone today. Soon, she will be the subject of research for many a photographer. Her rebellious, illustrious life-story will be an inspiration for many a newcomer. At a time when women were afraid of stepping out in the daylight in Bangladesh, Sayeeda Khanam would boldly meander around capturing the soul of people in her photographs. Not only Bangladesh, she was the first female photographer of East Pakistan too. She sailed through the darkness bearing the brunt of hurled stones & abuses to travel so far and pave a smooth & easy path for us.

Having reached the field of photography a bit late, I haven’t seen the dynamic photographer, photojournalist, Sayeeda Khanam in action with her camera in hand. Therefore, her professional life is all a myth to me, a tale heard from others. Through my own experience, I know that alongside technical skill it is the sensitive and strong connection with people that makes it possible to bring out their inner-self and paint it with light. I wonder how, given the practicalities of those times, would the young Sayeeda Khanam manage the stalwarts, with the camera in her hand! The more I saw Apa, the more amazed I grew! There are many enviable celebrities with immense repute, fame and numerous awards. But none of those can surpass the height of the humanitarian knowledge of Sayeeda Khanam. Sayeeda Khanam is the unique example of how simple, innocuous and humane a person can be to be able to gain universal acceptance, reverence and belief. Badol was born with the unusual ability to grab the love & respect of people.

That humans are bigger than their dreams, that humans are bigger than their shadows/reflections, is something that would remain unknown to me had I not come in touch with Sayeeda Khanam and her family.

Staring at the red soil of her grave I suddenly questioned myself: does one really meet one’s end? Does one depart? Does one really die? No! One remains through one’s work, through one’s relationships, in the hearts of others. Sayeeda Apa has not departed anywhere! Such a bright, active and vibrant life is very much here with us in this very world – in her works that she has left behind.

Without digging further into my grief for Apa, I come home and sit over the footage that I had taken in January this year.

And lo! Here is my teenage Badol in the form of Sayeeda Khanam! She giving her last interview. There was still some chill in the air and seeing some bareness I wrapped my muffler around her neck.

Camera rolling…

The immaculate teenage girl, Badol is seated with her naïve, inquisitive eyes, spreading magic with her sober yet straightforward talking…
You know, my mother was very nice and very brave. I’ve got my courage from my mother. My family was very progressive. The progressive and liberal attitude of my mother, aunt, father and maternal house as a whole, played a large role in my upbringing.

We swam through all ups-and-downs. My initial life was that of wandering and waywardness. My father was a Sub-Inspector. That was another world and another way of life. I used to be thrashed by my mother for my mischief’s. But my mother was very nice. She was very brave. I have got my braveness from her.

My brother is reputed Rabindra Sangeet artist, Abdul Ahad. Ahad bhai practicing new tunes in the middle of the night would often wake me up. Kanika Bandopadhyay was his friend and love during his stay in Shantiniketan. My sisters too were great. My eldest sister studied in Art College. The walls were filled with her paintings. My second sister was the Principal of Home Economics College. Another brother was a big officer in the forest department.

My poet aunt was also very progressive. See, this photograph of my aunt with Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay and Atul Prasard! Wasn’t she very cool? It isn’t a matter of joke to be photographed with Sarat Chandra!

No, no, I haven’t learnt photography from anyone. I learnt it myself (with pride). I loved watching movies. I learnt a lot by carefully observing the shots in the movies. Also learnt by watching the pictures in old magazines. I used to go for prints at the
‘Jayeedi Studio’ in Paltan. Mr. Jayeedi was a very nice person. He taught me a lot about photography.

My poet aunt took me to the editor of ‘Saugat’, Naseeruddin and said, ‘she takes excellent pictures’. Naseeruddin said, ‘there’s two jobs for you – the cover photo of ‘Begum’ and the activeness of women for the inside page.’ That was how my career as a press photographer started off.

Had I not been a photographer I would have been a writer. Now I am writing a short story.
Suddenly she asks, what do you think? What would I have been? I took no time in replying, you’d go to the moon, you’d have been an astronaut!
Apa started giggling like a child.

I wanted to know, who are the photographers of your times whom you liked? She started giggling again, covering her face with her hands. No one! Its jealousy, don’t you know! Only my photographs were good (keeps on giggling). Now I like everyone’s photographs. No jealousy anymore, hahaha…

When your health recovers and if you have a camera whom would you photograph?
I do not have a good camera now. I will take your pictures!
When I tried to divert the topic, she reverted the question, why, don’t you think I can photograph you?

I said, not that, but whose portrait would you take? Manik Babu (Satyajit Ray) is no more…
Apa started laughing again. I will photograph whoever I meet now. Common people… I will photograph whoever I like.

Previously too, I had questioned Sayeeda Apa on love – It should have been after your chats with Uttam Kumar at the sets of his films that you decided to remain single (Apa’s giggling continues at the speed of a train)? I repeat the question with added seriousness: love or marriage is not compulsory, but hasn’t anyone ever proposed to the smart, confident, free-minded and independent lady? Or hasn’t she ever liked someone?
It would clash with my personality. They feared me because I had a strong character. I haven’t loved anyone in that way, I loved light-heartedly. But those are personal things. They can’t be told or shared with others.

When you get well, we’ll take you to some faraway place. Where would you like to go?
Let’s go to the riverside! That will be good, isn’t it? We will all go to the riverside.
We’ll get lots of shots… people bathing, bathing their children, boats with sails…
what do you think?

It will be wonderful! We’ll take you to the riverside. Where else do you want to go?
The only thing I wish is to travel. Travel to different countries, wander in the mountains and forests… taking photographs, good photographs! Jhantu please serve food to Mamata Apa!

You know, a few days ago my elder sister passed away!
She was thoughtful for a moment and then looked up.
Nothing remains, no one stays forever in this world. We will go too! Occasionally, someone may remember you. But who remembers? No one except your dearest one remembers you. Again, by ‘dearest one’, I will say that one who loves you truly & deeply is the dearest one.

That’s it, now drop! No more, ha ha ha ha…

Raising her hand, Apa was perhaps trying to bring a chapter to its end. But I haven’t said pack-up as yet.

The shooting will go on..

Jannatul Mawa

Jannatul Mawa turned to professional photography after years of working as social and gender activist.
Mawa holds an MA in Bengali Literature. Later she completed Graduation from Pathshala -South Asian Media Institute of Photography and joined Pathshala as a Teacher. Mawa began her photographic career with UNICEF.
Mawa covered stories from diverse fields. Her works have been showcased globally in various forums and places, including: Emory University in USA, Drik Gallery, Dhaka Art Summit, Asian Women Photographers’ Showcase, Obscure Photo Festival, Delhi Photo Festival, Oxford University, Guatephoto2015, Bangladeshi American Creative Collective (BACC), Photoquai 2015 in Paris and ChobiMela International Photo Festival.
Mawa’s work ‘Finding Neverland’ was published in the book ‘Under the Banyan Tree’ by Pathshala and other works are published in Le Monde, The Guardian, etc. She received several awards, including: The Daily Star, ACI-Persona, KLPA, Guizhou Festival, UNICEF & PIB awards.

Subhajit Das Bhaumik

Subhajit Das Bhaumik is a documentary filmmaker, writer, translator, subtitler and social activist, he also works as a production controller/arranger for film and television. Subhajit is based out of Kolkata.